Monthly Archives: April 2010
Well, not really Spring Cleaning, just throwing out old crap that is taking up space.
Namely, my couch. My couch from MY apartment. Y’know the one where I lived in un-wedded bliss (ha bliss) with my ex-boyfriend, where I lived alone- sorta single- sorta not, where I downed numerous bottle of vodka and cases of Bud Light (CLASS, I tell you – ALL CLASS!). That one. The one where Life was crazy fucked up. But it was FUN (insert crying and crazy phone calls) FUN (insert throwing drinks at the bar) FUN (insert Can I really do this without him?!) FUN (insert He’s a Loser and I’m so glad I kicked him out) FUN (insert Omg, Is it really 4am, I have to be at work in 3 and a half hours and I’m so wasted).
It has been a bed for me, when my ex took our bed when he moved out. Nice move, asshole. (Til my parents decided that me sleeping on a couch was kinda, sorta pathetic and bought me a brand new mattress! Thanks Mom and Dad!) The couch has been a bed for alot of my friends and their friends and my cousin and his friends and my brother and his friends and the list goes on and on and on and on. Good times.
But, I’m in a very different place now, with a very different life. I am somebody’s Mommy now. I am somebody’s wife now. I am responsible for taking care of my precious son. So HURRAY out with the old and in with the new. (Well, not really in with the new, since we already have a really nice leather couch…But, y’know what I’m saying).
This dear, sunken in, slightly broken yet comfy couch has been moved from the burbs to the city then back again. Now he sits on the curb, awaiting garbage day. RIP Old Friend, RIP.
If you are easily offended by the depravity of the male population, do not read this book. It is vile, crass and a whole lot of other words that describe books not geared towards the average female reader. I, being the non-average female reader, loved this book. I thought the author pushed it a little far with his illicit descriptions of debauchery , but other than that – a great read.
The book is written in first person account’s from the three main characters – Sorority Girl, Average Guy in love with Sorority Girl and Average guy’s best friend that is super wealthy . It follows these characters as they navigate their college relationships. I thought the female character seemed more like a 35 yr. old male’s interpretation of what he THOUGHT a ditzy college girl would sound like, not how she actually sounds. He threw about 3902392 unnecessary “LIKE”s into her dialogue. (Hmmm…how would I properly punctuate that? Sorry for the grammar fail). There was such a huge build-up to the climax throughout the whole book. The way they made it sound I thought my happy little “Haha-College-Sex-Relationships” book was going to turn into a grisly murder story. The author managed to avoid that cliche, and resolved it in a somewhat dramatic manner that still left me saying, “Whoa.That was fucked up”.
I HEART MONSTER is having a fabulous giveaway of THIRTY-ONE BOOKS!
I love Giveaways and I LOVE books even more!
I think Gavin had a GREAT first Easter! I wish I had more pics, but these are just the ones I took from my iPhone. Gavin is too young for an Easter Egg Hunt (NEXT YEAR! THEY ARE MY FAVE!), but the Easter Bunny did bring him lots of Easter presents!
I wanted to bring Gavin to church too, but I know there is NO WAY he would be quiet for a whole 90 minutes, and the idea of putting him in the nursery just grosses me out! Germs, Babies shedding vaccines. Ugh. Hopefully next year we will be able to go.
My Dad and Grandpa came over to our house. Mike and my Dad cooked a huge FEAST for us! Ham, Pineapple, Asparagus, Biscuits, Mashed Potatoes….and some Yummy Carrot Cake in honor of my Grandma (who always made THE BEST HOMEMADE CARROT CAKE! I miss her.)
I really missed the rest of my family this year. I haven’t spent Easter with my Mom in a few years. Thankfully, my Dad was in town this weekend. He is always going back and forth in between work (Chicago) and home (Atlanta). This is the first year we didn’t go to Mike’s family party in Rockford. I am kinda thankful cause it is such a long drive. Dragging Gavin all that way would have been such a pain in the ass. Plus, I am an admitted total control freak about germs and sick kids!
I , I mean the Easter Bunny, got Gavin a Busy Ball Popper (Got it for super cheap, using store and manufacturer’s coupons at Kmart), Richard Scarry’s BIGGEST BUSIEST STORYBOOK EVER! I’m a huge Richard Scarry fan. I LOVE reading them to him. AstroBoy DVD (Got it for FREE using a coupon) , GloWorm (2.99 at TRU!), A summer outfit and what every kid loves to see in their Easter Basket, some socks for his non-stop growing feet! Seriously they’re huge!
Oh, the Candy Basket is for Mike. Well it was intended for Mike, but I ate half of it. Oops.
I hope everyone had a relaxing and happy Easter with their families!
1) Women who don’t wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. What!!!!Are you 3 years old? Are you a dirty man? NO! You’re supposed to be a freaking LADY! So act like one. Squirt some soap on those hands and WASH THEM! No one wants to touch your dirty pee hands and get your cooter germs cause you don’t understand the concept of washing your hands. Also, when you RINSE your hands for 1.5 seconds- that does NOTHING! Scrub them! FOR TWENTY SECONDS, GERM FARM! *Sing Happy Birthday to yourself (in your head- lest you garner any more stares than you already are by washing your hands properly) two times, That’s 20 seconds!
2) Pass to the left, stand to the right. I wish I could just give all commuters a 5-minute lesson I would entitle “Commuter Etiquette”. On the DL it would be known as “If you have to take this you must be dumb” class. The class theme song will be that Justin Timberlake song- Rock Your Body- “Pass to the left and you sail (we can change it to stay) to the right”. C’mon I know you know that song! Sing it! Every day when I commute downtown for work there is always a few IDIOTS that don’t understand this concept on the escalators. They stand on the left side like total morons staring at the ceiling while I burn holes in the back of their head with my menacing glares.. If you are in a hurry stay to the left so you can move quickly, if you’re not in a hurry stay to the right. Y’know kinda like driving on the highway, people. This is especially important in a train station, where there are things like SCHEDULES and TRAINS THAT ONLY RUN ON THE HOUR!
3)Preggo’s that BLEACH their hair. I see this more and more and it annoys me!!!! I guess this isn’t as bad as having your way with a bottle of Grey Goose when you’re 32 weeks pregnant. But bleach COME ON. That cannot be smart. It can burn your eyeballs right out of their sockets. It can cause your hair to fry and disintegrate! Your roots can wait!
4) Why oh why oh why won’t Pandora work in the background of my iPhone? I know this is Apple’s sneaky trick to get me to buy more music on iTunes. Also, clever marketing so that when they release the 932G version I will be forced to buy it and blow another $400 on ANOTHER iphone. Who am I kidding, by then Gavin will be 3 and it will be the latest pre-schooler craze and Mike won’t want to be left out either. Now, Apple has me for another $1200….